People vs Cancer

The hardest thing about having cancer or surving cancer is telling people about it. I'll never forget after my diagnosis having to tell family and friend that I had cancer. The word itself so darn scary and the death sentence and it seems to automatically carry. There is an old 80's movie, "St. Elmos Fire," where a character's mother whispers words she finds personally offensive, she mentions a friend's daughter has (whisper)cancer.

It's the subject that some people avoid once they find out and others can't support you enough. I remember calling to my workplace after my diagnosis and being in tears explaining how I had Kidney Cancer and I needed find out out about taking sick leave. I then, left a tear filled, sobbing 3 minute message on my supervisor's voicemail. He called me back later that day and he had not yet heard it yet and I told him just to delete it. By that time, I had calmed down and had time to deal with it(as much as you can deal with it.)

I had friends and relatives that called me right away as soon as they heard and others that could not face me. I tried not to take this personally, because cancer scares the hell outta people...I know it did me. I learned of other cancer survivors, like my coworker and friend Lee. As soon as she heard my diagnosis, she sent me the nicest supportive letter, which I still have. Her words took me from a dim place to a bright place full of hope...My friends Scarlet & Terri came by to check on me and we talked and laughed and that too my cancer easier to swallow.

After my kidney was removed and I was healing and considered a Cancer Survivor at that point, people still have mixed reactions. When I went back to work, I'll never forget a coworker practically raising her voice at me when I told her that I had never had to have to chemo. She was trying to second guess my urologist. I was comfortable with my specialist and my decision to remove my kidney but to someone who had not been in my shoes, she was adamant that I needed chemotherapy. Everyone's a doctor what can i say? lol She meant well I am sure...

Even when I tell people today that I am a survivor...They are shocked...I think it makes people realize that cancer can touch anyone. (Even a 44 year old, married, working mom!) But it also means that you can survive cancer and being a walking billboard for that...Doesn't scare me at all!